I’ve just read the biography of Mother Theresa and it is really inspiring. We all review our lives either from time to time or others, constantly, and this is helping me review mine. A westerner’s life seems locked in to building up net worth, (generally through property and a pension), and, if you’re not unlucky hopefully retiring and enjoying it for 12 years (retire at 65, average age of death in the UK is 77) before passing on whatever is left after inheritance tax. Generally the tax man and pension company make a killing off of you for your entire life and then make a killing over your death also.

Regardless, I just can’t see anything worthwhile in the sum of my life being to spend the last 12 years of it more comfortably whilst financing a bunch of politicians’ ineptitude and lining the pockets of shareholders. So I began thinking, well, what is worthwhile?  In Mike’s final huddle last year he asked us what was it that we wanted to achieve with our lives. For me I said that I wanted to be used for significant things that will last. At the same time Jo and I have sensed a word to ‘Go’ for some time, but as we’ve tried to work that word out we’ve never been able to get a destination. Regardless, the word feels as if it is time to be acted upon and so we decided to sell all our stuff, leave the country and go serve our missionary friends around the world until God tells us to do something else!  Paul Mac is calling this ‘doing a Pullinger’.

I’ve also been challenged, as you can tell, about our security and future provision, especially in terms of the equity in the house (which is where 80% of our net financial worth is located) - we had nothing 18 months ago - which God gave us through me being made redundant, and then buying a house with that as the downpayment, and the housing market continuing to grow. Its interesting to see how precious I’ve become over it - issues of security were never a problem before God gave us something to steward (not to put our trust in it). But anyway, that aside, God challenged me on whether I was prepared to risk it, or rather, risk security. If we did have to live off that equity, or if we were challenged to give it away or use it in some kind of ministry… There’s a really, really big part of me that longs for that level of living by faith and that sense of giving away everything we have (to people who are properly poor, not the uk definition of poor) to see what God does in our lives.

As usual there is fear mixed in there, but not fear that God won’t support us, but fear that we’ll not do it, that spring will come and go, and summer will do the same. I know we (God willing) control that much… and at least the next steps of doing up the house to put it on the market are tangible steps, even leaving the country is quite tangible (as opposed to some vague “oooh make me holier Lord” unquantifiable goal). Fear also, I guess, of the first 12 years of Jackie Pullenger’s ministry, or the first 17 of Heidi and Rolland Baker’s ministry - most of which were pretty well much fruitless compared to what was to come.

A few weeks ago I, and Ben Gardener, cleaned up broken glass from in front of church just before the meeting. It took 10 minutes and I got nothing back from doing it except that I blessed people (and therefore God). I can’t tell you how much joy that simple act brought me - possibly because there was no way for it to be repaid directly, not sure, its not like I don’t do things to serve people but I felt like it connected me with God in a way that I don’t often connect through.

But anyway. ‘Significant things that will last’ is the hope that has led to a message from the Word, ‘Go’.

2008 Update: Well, we sold all our stuff, reduced our lives to 2 suitcases and a laptop, bought round the world tickets and left the UK in August 2005.  We spent 3 months in the US with various missionary friends - partially serving & supporting them where we could but mixed also exploration & holiday too.  We found that short-term stops made it hard to ‘get involved’.  We spent another 3 months supporting missionary friends in New Zealand.  And then we were invited to look after the young adults at a church in Geelong, Australia.  We actually spent just over 2 years there serving, preaching, leading, leading worship, being the worship director, mentoring, etc.  We had a great time serving.   We realised that God was calling us to continue leading as we had been doing in Australia but on a bigger scale and so we realised that the question of leading a church had been answered in us.  As I write now I have been employed as an Assistant Pastor at York Elim church for a few months now…

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